Put me out
Holy spirit engulf me
If you can
I’m starting to want out
Losing my desire
Starving for attention
Manifest yourself to me!
Am I Not worth a dampened sheepskin?
A bloodied door?
What sin haven’t I committed to not yet receive your grace?
I blame you!
For my faults and my mistakes, I blame you for my free will
You let me choose-
What made you think I could?
How dare you hold me so highly that you think I could be wise with a gift like life?
Don’t you know? There are better out there
People who can make an impact- who can die happy trying
Why my Lord?
I am not your best- if by any means I may be your worst.
Sitting alone in a dark room
I waste my days,
Crying out to anything but you
Ignoring your force- Not putting forth the effort
What if you fail me to?
I can’t connect
I fizzle out, fake the life I want to have
A relationship to real
A hurt that could never heal
If you singe me- what will be left?
Dynamite at its end
An explosion waiting to happen.
Just set me off Lord, and this will all be over
The parody I’ve made of you
The Joke I’ve put forth
Blame I place on you, when all I am is wrong
Not strong enough to be real
I care too much to care at all!
If you could just take me, renew me, guide me
Get rid of me
Start over with a new design
A better version of me
Then maybe I would have a chance.
Die for me! Come for me!
And now you say you’ll save me.
I fall at your feet Lord.
All that I am.
This mess that I made, trying to be you
Selfish and corrupt,
Forgive me Lord for my slander
Renew my spirit
show me to begin anew.
Heal my heart- show me to look not to man
But to You.
– Madison Barrett